So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
