I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
