Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
