jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
and she was petting her beer can
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I need a beard to bite.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize