With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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