I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize