That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
