I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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