So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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