New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize