I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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