I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
