The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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