yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
