I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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