I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude i'm inner monologue high
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
