Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
