just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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