dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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