Bisexual people are plain selfish.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize
