So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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