Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
