Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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