playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize
