I'm drive I can fine osifer
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
