If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
