he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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