STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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