I wish I only lived at night.
You can't special order awesome
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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