So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
