she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
