Pregnant stripper...not hot.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
