let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
