Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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