i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
