Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
