im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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