I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
