she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize