you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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