Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I would fuck him just for his dog
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
