the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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