u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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