omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
When are your genitals available?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
