so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
