I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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