sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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