I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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