You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
time to smoke my breakfast
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
