Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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