Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
