you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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