Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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