and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
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Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
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He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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