I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
