On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
