Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?

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(480): View more from Arizona

I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.

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(914): View more from New York

I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.

(215): View more from Pennsylvania

did she buy you pizza?

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(574): View more from Indiana

I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".

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(601): View more from Mississippi

How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.

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