Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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