Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
