ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
