You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
