Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize