i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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