all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
